- May Sarton
Being nocturnal sometimes has major downfalls, like the downward spiral that occurs when you spend too much time in your head and all of your confidants are fast asleep! This is one of those times. I am feeling extremely frustrated and feel as if I just need to write to assuage these emotions. Yet, I also don't want to put all of my girl-moment craziness out on the interwebs. So, I'll just write cryptically and hope that this surface-level processing can be a temporary band-aid until I can call on my girlfriends for insight.
There are times when it's hard to discern between irrational expectations and normal expectations placed on impracticable situations and/or people. I am caught in that place currently, and I am baffled about how to sort it all out. Then again, I wonder if I am falling into the destructive trap that Sarton warns about. Am I being impatient, hasty, expecting too much too fast? *Hmph* I fear one or all of these may be the case, in which case, I am not sure what to do. How do you just turn that kind of thing off?
The Bible says, "hope deferred makes the heart sick."... When did I let hope sneak in and how do I serve it its eviction notice? How can I escape this quixotic dreamscape?
I don't know the answer or any real way to sort it all out without an alternate point of view... I would just delete this post, but I need to use my word of the week. Plus, despite its seeming meaninglessness, it did assuage my frustration a little bit. I guess that's worth something.
