The End is Near

No, this is not an apocalyptic post!

The end of the semester is almost here and I am ready for it. Just a few more assignments and class meetings to go and then...well, hopefully not much! But, I think

I'll make a list of things I would like to do:

1) Sleep until I can't sleep anymore. Get up and eat. Rinse. Repeat.
2) Re-read the Harry Potter series.
3) Evaluate my 101 things list and prioritize what I want to get done in 2011.

I have resolved to find peace in the midst of the emotional storm that has been my life lately. I am tired of being ruled by my emotions and need to, frankly, get it together! If there is one lesson that I have learned this far in life, is that I can endure far more than I can ever imagine.

My world seems turned upside down, but I am still standing. I am defying gravity despite all of this craziness. Oooo...

4)Listen to the Wicked soundtrack

Though, I have been distant from God, I know that he is keeping me. Will I ever truly grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is (Ep. 3:18)?

5)Reconnect with God

I am glad to have Salsa in my life again, but I have let my other love (writing) fall to the wayside. It is hard, when you are in school, to find time to write for non-academic purposes. My creativity feels stagnated.

6) Write some new poems and/or a short story (even if they are terrible)!

I need to remind myself to take my victories one step at a time and not focus too much on the future.

7) Be proud to have finished the semester.

I realize that I am in a season of great humility. I am learning a lot about empathy, my own limitations, and that I cannot do it all on my own. I realize I must relinquish control in many different areas. But, I cannot seem to loosen this death grip...

8) Commit to reflecting on the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

9) Just breathe.

10) Don't worry. Be Happy.

*Sigh

Riddled with self-doubt. I hope this passes...

The PhD nap

I have fallen prey to the PhD nap. It is a downward spiral, that is difficult to come out of. It all starts with that one extra-long afternoon nap. Next thing you know, you are up until 5 in the morning. Rinse. Repeat. For the next few days, it is a battle to correct my sleep cycle.

Yes, this is where I find myself.

Perhaps it would work more to my advantage if I actually turned those twilight hours into productive work hours. One day I'll get there. For now I am just trying to survive until the end of this semester. If I come out with my head above water (or the covers for that matter) I know I'll be okay.

It's 1:16 am and sleep doesn't seem to be lurking anywhere about. Perhaps tonight I will be a productivity machine. Or maybe I'll just watch Netflix instead!

RANDOM: Writing prompt Exercise #1 [11]

One of my 101 things to do in 1001 days is to complete 20 writing prompts on http://creativewritingprompts.com/. This is my first one.

Directions: Below are three sets of words. Use all the words in each set to write mini stories in 300 words or less.

Set 1: paperclips, principal, lunchbox, swing, girl in pink ribbon.

The girl in the pink ribbon had always been creative. Just before lunch she grabbed a handful of paperclips from her teachers desk. In the cafeteria, surrounded by all of her friends she asked, "Wanna see something cool?" "Yeah!" her friends exclaimed. Linking the paper clips together she made two paperclip chains. She then attached those two chains to either side of her lunchbox. "It's a swing," she said. "Does it work?" asked one of her companions. "Of course it does. Watch!" she replied as she took a chain in each hand. She began to rock the lunchbox back and forth increasing the speed with each swing. Noticing that there was a growing stir in a corner of the cafeteria the principal went over to see what all the commotion was about. "What's going on-" he began but was cutoff when a tuna salad sandwich hit him squarely in the face.

Set 2: biology, class card, foreign student, leaf, blood sample

A leaf that had blown in the open window settled on the class card of the foreign student. It was blood sample day in Biology and each of the students had to put a couple of finger prick samples on their class card for analysis. "Place your cards in the card container and pass them to the front," the teacher instructed. It was then that the foreign student noticed the leaf on his card. Thinking nothing of it, he removed the leaf, placed the card in the holder, and passed his holder to the front of the class.

A couple of weeks later, the Biology teacher announced, "Your results are in! The results tell you your blood type and the different ethnic backgrounds that are strong enough to detect." Excitement rose in the classroom as each student began to receive their results. "Let me see yours!" a couple of students exclaimed to one another. When the teacher arrived at the foreign student he asked to speak to her privately. "You results were most fascinating! It seems you have some traces of Arborean in you. This is quite the discovery, because until now most people believed the ancient tree people to be a myth!" Wanting to poke a little fun with at the teacher the student replied, "Yes, in my country there is an indigenous culture that is directly descendant from the tree people and have the most pure form of the bloodline. My grandfather was one of them." "Oh my, this is very good indeed!" said the teacher excitedly as he rushed out of the room.

"When are you going to tell him you were joking?" a student near the foreign student asked. "When the reporters come," she replied.

Set 3: typewriter, filing cabinet, puncher, clerk, carbon paper, janitor

"Can you put the typewriter on top of the filling cabinet when you are done cleaning it off?" the clerk asked the janitor. The janitor noded. "Okay, well I am leaving for the night then. Don't forget to lock up when you leave!" the clerk yelled out as she exited.

"Don't forget to lock up when you leave!" the janitor muttered mockingly. "When have I ever forgotten to lock up before I left? and when did it become my job to move things around for you?" he continued bitterly. The janitor grabbed a stack of papers off the clerk's desk and wrote on the top sheet, Dear Clerk, I have put up with your nonsense for 15 years. Now its time that I let you know that I know what you do in here when no one is looking. I have been keeping a long list... The janitor then began to enumerate the many embarrassing things about the clerk that he had been privy to over the years. He finished it with Consider this list the next time you ask me to do things outside of my job description!. "Oh how I'd love to leave this waiting for her when she returns in the morning," he said out loud. He then took the top sheet and put it through the shredder. "One day soon she'll get her comeuppances," he sighed. He then moved the typewriter to the filing cabinet and locked the door behind him as he left.

The next day, the clerk instructed the intern to take the blank paper from her desk. "Print the equipment on them. Save the top copy, use the puncher to put holes in them and place them in a notebook. Send the carbon copy out to corporate," she instructed. Doing as was instructed the intern sent the carbon copies off to corporate. Unbeknowst to anyone, the paper the janitor had used the night before was the same paper that was sent to corporate. Later that night, when the janitor went to clean the clerk's office it was empty. "Did she move offices?" the janitor asked the intern. "Oh, you didn't hear?" the intern asked. "She was fired."Smirking, the janitor shut the office door and left it, for the first time, unlocked.

This was fun. It felt good to be creative again, even with silly things. One down 19 to go!