Lessons Learned

So, this has been a crazy two weeks (seems like I am always writing about crazy weeks!). But, this time my reference is to an almost mind-blowingly crazy couple of weeks where God has shown up in my life in ways that He hasn't in awhile. I have had some pretty major disappointments: being extremely hurt by a friend, not getting a job I really/needed wanted, having a car accident... However, I have also had some major blessings: learning incredible lessons in love and patience, getting an even better working opportunity, and being extended such beautiful and overwhelming grace.

Maybe I haven't been attentive/receptive enough or (as is usually the case) this was the right time to be reminded of His faithfulness and incredible guidance in my life. To be reminded that he is the ultimate aegis.

Many "on-time word(s)" came into my life during this time. So, this post will be less my words and more a collection of quotes to sum up the lessons I have learned these past two weeks.

On Disappointments, Patience and Dreams:

"Be still. Get quiet and listen. Let yourself get angry, let yourself get sad. Face the truth; go through the eye of the needle; feel the pain and know that it will slowly fade. The short term pain of facing a truth FAR outweighs the long-term pain of believing a lie." - Mastin Kipp

"We’ve all had major disappointments in life....So, what do we do in the meantime with the feelings that are left over from letdown, heartbreak and disappointment? Well – you have two choices, you can either choose to self-destruct through ramping up your addiction du jour, or you can choose to take the anger, sadness, confusion and disappointment and channel it towards fulfilling your dreams...Using the pain of disappointment to push you even further towards your dreams is a wonderful use of that energy."- Mastin Kipp

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” - Henry David Thoreau

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” - Robert Kiyosaki


"Acting on your dreams and expressing your gifts is like planting a seed. I love using this example. The seed has potential already within it. With the proper soil, watering, sunlight and TIME, the seed will blossom.

Especially in Western Society, we are so focused on results and NOW, that we can actually impede our seeds’ growth. Imagine planting a seed in the ground and coming back an hour later, digging it up and wondering why it’s not a fully formed tree yet – and perhaps even getting mad/angry or depressed that it’s 'taking so long'... For me patience is the slow, yet perfect unfolding of my dreams one day at a time. It’s embracing the uneasiness of all the things that are still unsettled in my heart...even if I can’t see it or feel it in this moment. Patience is accepting the present fully as it is and then course correcting. Patience is allowing yourself to make mistakes and then learn from them. Patience is removing the word “should” from your vocabulary and instead, understanding that everything that’s happened in your life has been necessary to teach you...When you cultivate this kind of patience, you leave room for miracles." - Mastin Kipp

Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.” - May Sarton


"[God] gives us dreams, desires and calls us to live them out. Deep down we know that [God] will support us to fulfill our purpose, but many times the opinions of others and the collective whole of society are louder than that still voice within... Stand up (in a loving way) to the naysayers in your life. Train yourself to let that still, calm voice within guiding you into the unknown of your dreams to become louder than the negative voices you hear. Surround yourself with fellow travelers who will support you." - Mastin Kipp ("God has been substituted in the place of "the uni-verse" to illustrate the quotes communication to me)

On Patience and Love:

Patience is accepting your friends, mate and partners exactly where they are with no insistence that they change for you." - Mastin Kipp

"One of the most important facets I've learned about love is unselfishness, which is characterized in the Bible as a willingness to sacrifice one's own wishes for those of others. I've learned that true love will always adapt and adjust to the needs and desires of other people.

It's impossible for people who've truly been reduced to love to be selfish. God has taught them how to be totally adaptable and adjustable to others. Selfish people, on the other hand, have hard hearts. It's very difficult for them to learn anything—especially if it involves self-sacrifice. They expect everyone else to adjust to them and their needs. They simply don't know how to adjust to others without becoming angry or upset.

Learning to adapt and adjust to the needs and desires of others was very difficult...[BUT -emphasis mine] Once you've been reduced to love, you'll have no trouble establishing and maintaining good, healthy relationships with others. Your primary goal in life will be to put the wishes of others before your own. You'll learn that true love is all about sacrifice and selfishness will be a thing of the past." - Joyce Meyers


On Hope:

Hope isn’t free, but anything worth having is worth paying for. You see, hope is the foundation of life and it can teach us valuable lessons if we are willing to learn.

Life without hope is called death.

In the waiting and anticipating phase we can grow stronger in mind, body and spirit if we choose to. We know that what we want is on its way but we just have to finish paying our dues. In the time we spend paying the price for the things we want, a sense of pride is built and character is formed. We grow into the person we need to be in order to receive that which we’ve been longing for.

Don’t rush hope or you’ll ruin it.

Hope deferred isn’t hope denied, so keep paying it forward, for that which you are working towards will soon be yours." - Tony Gaskin


Actually there is so much more (yes and this is all in the past two weeks!), but this is already getting to be too long!!!

Checkout Mastin Kipp's blog The Daily Love .

Love, Jones

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."-- Unknown.


Tonight, I finished a painting that I started a couple of months ago. Well, it's kind of finished (explanation following this parenthetical disclaimer). I wanted to add some hair to the guy and fix his nose. I have no delusions of being a true artist, but it was a part of my fung shui journey. I needed a picture of a couple, but didn't have (and wasn't willing to pay for) one, so I decided to make my own (see below - sorry the picture quality isn't so great). After I finished the guy's hair, I got in my head that I wanted to paint the words of 1Corinthians 13 [the love portion] in the background. As I was painting them on the canvas I started to feel convicted.

Two post ago I wrote about patience and love. Since then, I have had some major tests in both areas. While I have had some small victories, I am seriously contemplating if I am #failing in others. Like I mentioned in that post, it is HARD stuff! Anyhow... So, I painted on the words. I stepped back and looked at it and didn't like the way it looked. So I took the brush and painted over the words (hence the erratic brush strokes you see on the painting).


I am a metaphorical thinker, so the symbolism of it all was not lost on me.

No matter how much paint I put on that canvas from this point on those words will always be there. Despite how I felt about their look or fit in my perfect picture (please allow me the liberty to hyperbolize to illustrate the point) they are a part of it.

God calls us to love. Whether we want to "paint" over it with excuses or arguments about how ill equipped we are, the mandate still stands. The world has made us hard. (Or if it is better for me to own it)... The world has made ME hard. So many hurts, slights, and disappointments have made me love shy. Especially when pain is an almost certain outcome of loving.

There are a couple of people right now that I know (at least on the onset) that if I truly commit to loving them, they will assuredly let me down. Because of where they are in life it is a 98% certainty kind of deal. I feel called to love them, but I don't want to. THAT would be uncomfortable for me. However, I know that the best things are not always the easiest things.

I guess if life was always easy, it would be boring. So here is to living. Here's to #winning. Wish me luck!

Dream on, Dreamer

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”
- Harriet Tubman


I have been coming across these great apothegms lately. Particularly, I have been bombarded with quotes, conversations, and observations about dreams.

I am feeling simultaneously encouraged and discouraged this week.

Discouragements: A job that I thought might be a sure thing for the summer does not seem to be panning out. So, I need to start looking for some part-time work and fast. Also, I recently had to create some distance from a person that was kind of toxic in my life. That is always hard. Loving someone (not in the romantic way [although this applies to that too]) can be really difficult when their "stuff" causes them to hurt you. Even though you can recognize their brokenness in it all, it doesn't negate the wounds you incur. There comes a point where a certain approach to persistent love becomes plain ole' foolishness. I am still learning that people will change in their own timing, and no matter how much I wish it would speed along I have no power over it.

Encouragements: My grandparents have so graciously offered to help me out a bit financially if I cannot find adequate work. I hope it doesn't come to having to take them up on that offer, but it is reassuring to know that help is available. Going back to the intro of this post, I have been inundated with dream reminders. And as I mentioned in my last post, I am starting to recapture the vision of purpose for my life. I have made a commitment to myself to get back on track with all of that this summer. Seeing as how I may not have a job and/or the funds to travel to Atlanta so much, I should have plenty of time to make it happen. I am nervous, but excited knowing that I have within me "the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

Quixotic Dreascape (II)

All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, For they dream their dreams with open eyes, And make them come true.
- D.H. Lawrence


Another titular post!

This has been a crazy two weeks, as can be seen by my total failure at staying on task with this blog. I think that I am in a position to get back on track. Spring semester has ended and even though I know summer will bring a rhythm all its own, I am anxious to see what life will look like during this juncture.

But anyhow, that is neither here nor there just an update on why my posting life of late has been a little off.

***

People always joke, "Be careful what you wish/pray for, you just might get it." I KNOW God has a sense of humor, because the two areas in my life where I struggle the most are patience and love (in their truest forms). Sure, I can have patience and wait a day or two (or even a month or year) for some picayune thing, but for something I really desire you can forget it. I start to pout, whine, get angry...you know, throw a tantrum. Love is even more challenging. For the most part, I have the whole being kind to/considerate of/helpful towards others things going pretty well. But don't ask me to truly love someone who has hurt me or that I discern has the ability to do so. Uh-uh, no thanks, I'll keep to my convenient bubble that keeps everyone just out of heart's reach. Loving, true loving, is hard. It requires so much of you.

So here is where God, the Last Comic Standing, comes in. Knowing that I learn my greatest lessons through relationship with other people he sees fit to bring people in my life to answer my prayers in a tangible (and incredibly frustrating) way. Why can't I just pray for patience and love and He embed those things in my heart for an instant fix? [I already know the answer, I just don't like it].

Lately, one person in particular has truly been ripping both my patience and love muscles. God is faithfully rebuilding and strengthening them, but I have discovered that this will be an ultra-marathon. Not a sprint. Not a 10k. Not even a regular marathon, but an ULTRA one.

The training is going to be tough but rewarding.

This person is not only serving a purpose on the interpersonal front, but in the whole of my life. I had/have a vision/passion, that I have continue to lay down and pick back up again, because I have been impatient in its coming to fruition. Its the reason I went to seminary, its the reason I am pursuing a Phd, and it is truly my purpose in life. My impatience gives way to fear and I am so afraid of failure that my efforts have been half-hearted. I know God blessed me to be a quixotic dreamer to, with His help, surmount the insurmountable. But, I have been needing to "see" what it looks like to pursue hard after my dreams. I think He has brought this new friendship to encourage me toward that.

I see the passion and stick-to-itness he has in the pursuit of his dreams and I am reminded that the road maybe be long and (sometimes) lonely, but perseverance can go a long way.

We joked the other day about a word. He referred to himself as a visionary and in my snarky way, I said "You know being a visionary is not necessarily a good thing. A visionary is someone with impracticable dreams."
visionary - given to or characterized by fanciful, not presently workable, or unpractical ideas, views, or schemes
A paraphrase of his response was, Really? Well that's what I meant..

He doesn't even know that I call myself the quixotic dreamer or that I have this blog titled such. Yet, kindred spirits we are.

Oh God, you are so sneaky...

#FAIL!

Word of the week = FAIL
Blog Post = FAIL
GMLRC 2011 = minor set back

I'll do better next week.

From Good to Great: A Quick Interlude

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically – to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside. The enemy of the ‘best’ is often the ‘good.’

- Stephen Covey


I came across this quote on another blog today. It goes perfectly with my last post, so I thought I'd share.

Instant Gratification: Isaac vs Ishmael

God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.” Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.”
Genesis 17: 15-21



I have been particularly introspective these past few days. I think my battle to stay out of the abyss has had me in a state of mental overdrive.

It was almost four years ago, when one of my professors shared a short devotional on Isaac and Ishmael. Actually, I guess it was moreso on Abraham, with particular focus on the Isaac/Ishmael part of his story. It has stuck with me ever since, and it is at times like this when the message is ever so salient. The gist of the message is this:

Don't settle for an Ishmael (or force an Ishmael), when you have been promised an Isaac.

God is not a jocular God. While he has blessed us with humor and joy, he is not prone to tantalize us with promise for sport. When he prepares or hearts and minds for something He will deliver.

Ishmael represents instant gratification. It is a desire in your heart that you corrupt by getting too antsy. Instead of waiting on or working toward the best, you settle/opt for good enough, because it is already in your current reality. God has a way of making us wait for the really good stuff. Sometimes it is to prepare us for it, sometimes it is o test/strengthen our commitment to it, and sometimes it is for a greater purpose that he reveals to us in due time. Whatever the reason, waiting sucks! Even proactive waiting (which is what I believe God usually calls us to) sucks. It can feel like you are striving/preparing/growing for nothing when your promise doesn't come when you hope for it. That is precisely when Ishmael seems so enticing. The wait can be so long that we begin to lose sight of the vision, and we began to think we need to help it along. "Surely this must be the plan," we assure ourselves as we go after our Ishmael.

I have noticed quite a few Ishmaels in my life lately. Some of have been career trajectories, relational interests, recreational activities, and even some social connections. Actually, I noticed them some time ago, but I am just now calling them what they are: Settlements (aka Ishmaels). I am grateful for times like this to be reminded that there is more and with a little time and effort and a lot of patience, the Isaacs of my life will be birthed, despite the fact that it seems like my womb is dried up.


The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.

****

After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:

Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield,
your very great reward.

But Abram said, “Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless..."

[God] took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

...Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived (Ishmael).