I love the internship I am in this summer. I am not working with students directly, but I feel a renewed sense of purpose. I guess it helps to know that what I am doing directly affects students in a meaningful way. I'll take that, for now.
I am still day by day traveling this journey of love and patience. I am realizing that boundaries are a necessary part of the process. While they cannot be too rigid, they must be in place.
Classes start soon and I am looking forward to being more engaged in my coursework. I am really hoping to start research for my dissertation. We'll see.
My birthday is coming up soon, yay (I guess). I have never been a big birthday celebrater, but I feel like I should pay particular attention to this coming one. It will be the finale of this crazy decade. I am so over the 20s and looking forward to my 30s. But, I have one more year until I cross over into the first decade of a series of best decades (i am claiming it)! I feel like I should send this one off with purpose. I haven't decided what to do yet. I have been toying with some ideas (mostly inspired by roomie). I'll do a special birthday post with the decision(s). One of my things, for sure, is a commitment to work against the captious nature of my mind.
One big celebration: I ran today for the first time since the 5K. I don't know what it s about completing a race. Maybe I get in my head that I have "arrived" and I don't need to try any more. #false I am running the Peachtree Road Race in less than a month. I needed to get my butt in gear, but these 90 degree days have made me uninspired. Luckily, with the urging of a friend, I got off the couch and laced up again. I was surprised how much I missed it. So, wish me luck for July 4th!!!
Running tonight was just what I needed to re-energize me. I am reposting a poem I wrote a while ago that seems appropriate to this moment:
REJOINING THE RACE
The race is usually won by the swift
But if you’re too quick
You may just miss
The bliss of the journey
My running shoes are waiting expectantly
Tongues hanging out like dogs cooped up inside too long
They want to go out where they belong
And I am finally ready to fulfill their wishes.
My stride is hesitant, but I soon hasten my pace
Stroll, walk, power walk, jog...
The fog starts to lift as my feet carry me forward
My breath catching as my body powers on.
Unknown companions will their bodies alongside me
And I feel life snaking out from my chest
Spreading heat to my cheeks, hands, thighs
As I look to the skies for inspiration.
Quickening my steps, I throw caution to the wind
Then I sprint, no holds barred toward the finish line
Wind whipping around me in a giant congratulatory hug
Raindrops beating their praise against the gravel
Their collisions clapping to the rhythm of my heart,
A momentary interlude to this
Roller coaster of doubt and accomplishment.
As it intermingles with my sweat
I feel the heaviness dripping off of me
The juxtaposition of salt and water
Washing over a healing wound.
It stings, but not like before
I recognize the faintness of the pain
Propelling me through the rain
Further away from the past
Each step bursting into the future
I feel beckoned there
I don’t know what is ahead, but I know its good.
And I won’t stop until I get there.
© 2010
