Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved- Helen Keller
I asked somebody the other day if they had regrets. They answered something like, "no, because every [decision and/or action] makes you who you are today."
It's true, but I can't help wondering if this way of thinking is a little misguided. I believe regret is an extremely useful tool. It is how you use it that determines if it will positively or negatively affect your life. I mean let's face it, we will screw things up. Sometimes even colossally. Most of us have things that we wish we could do over. Many of us would rewrite certain parts of our history. The trouble is, that we cant undo history.
So, we are left with the repercussions of it. Not just the external ones, but the internal ones as well. One of which is regret. If we wallow in it, we prolong the pain of poor decisions (or the poor decisions of others). However, if we learn from it, we forge a new pathway in our lives that leads to a better future. Regret, can be a powerful character building tool.
I find myself presented with such an opportunity. I stand at the crossroads of regret and the lure of Wallow Way is all too strong. Something in me is fighting hard to turn me in the direction of Lesson Learned Ln (yes, I realize the cheesiness of these attempts at alliteration and allegory). Bear with me as I unpack, this mental battle I am having with some metaphor.
Wallow way is attractive because it is a downhill road. It is easy in the sense that I don't have to work very hard to travel it. But it is rife with many secondary troubles that in my haste I can fail to see. Traveling downhill for any considerable amount of time is very hard on the joints. It wears at the very things that are in place to keep you together and mobile. Plus, it is so much harder to travel back uphill once you realize that you have chosen poorly. I beleive at a certain point, turning back is nearly impossible. In the end, you have little to show for it but exhaustion, more pain, and a deterioration of who you are. That on top of the original pain that caused the journey!
Lesson Learned Lane is unattractive because it is an uphill climb. It will take a lot of work to choose this direction. There will be a lot of sweat, pain, and tears on this path. But, with every step comes more and more strengthening of the muscles. As the muscles strengthen, the climb becomes easier. Though it is challenging there is a sense of accomplishment that comes with it. Oh, and did I mention endorphins! A pitfall is that it can be easy to turnaround and undo the hard work you have put in. Yet if you endure, in the end you have strength, accomplishment, and joy. You find redemption in a situation that started off seeming bleak.
Either road shapes your character. One for the better the other for the worse. I have found that some of my biggest regrets have come from the repercussions of taking Wallow way after a previous regret. For instance, I am currently suffering a regret that is symptomatic of the state I have been in following a much prolonged period of wallowing. This period left me destitute and unsure of who I was. My character had become one of a defeated person. As a result, I rashly made some choices that I should have given more thought. I hadn't built up enough stamina to resist the temptation of instant gratification. I slid a little further downhill.
I am sick of that road. It is a miserably boring travel route. I need a new adventure and I refuse to continue on this path. I don't care how much work it takes. I am willing to take chances, and I am fully aware that that means the potentially for a few slip and falls. But, I would rather be tripping uphill than tumbling down it.
Legs don't fail me know.
