All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, For they dream their dreams with open eyes, And make them come true.
- D.H. Lawrence
Another titular post!
This has been a crazy two weeks, as can be seen by my total failure at staying on task with this blog. I think that I am in a position to get back on track. Spring semester has ended and even though I know summer will bring a rhythm all its own, I am anxious to see what life will look like during this juncture.
But anyhow, that is neither here nor there just an update on why my posting life of late has been a little off.
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People always joke, "Be careful what you wish/pray for, you just might get it." I KNOW God has a sense of humor, because the two areas in my life where I struggle the most are patience and love (in their truest forms). Sure, I can have patience and wait a day or two (or even a month or year) for some picayune thing, but for something I really desire you can forget it. I start to pout, whine, get angry...you know, throw a tantrum. Love is even more challenging. For the most part, I have the whole being kind to/considerate of/helpful towards others things going pretty well. But don't ask me to truly love someone who has hurt me or that I discern has the ability to do so. Uh-uh, no thanks, I'll keep to my convenient bubble that keeps everyone just out of heart's reach. Loving, true loving, is hard. It requires so much of you.
So here is where God, the Last Comic Standing, comes in. Knowing that I learn my greatest lessons through relationship with other people he sees fit to bring people in my life to answer my prayers in a tangible (and incredibly frustrating) way. Why can't I just pray for patience and love and He embed those things in my heart for an instant fix? [I already know the answer, I just don't like it].
Lately, one person in particular has truly been ripping both my patience and love muscles. God is faithfully rebuilding and strengthening them, but I have discovered that this will be an ultra-marathon. Not a sprint. Not a 10k. Not even a regular marathon, but an ULTRA one.
The training is going to be tough but rewarding.
This person is not only serving a purpose on the interpersonal front, but in the whole of my life. I had/have a vision/passion, that I have continue to lay down and pick back up again, because I have been impatient in its coming to fruition. Its the reason I went to seminary, its the reason I am pursuing a Phd, and it is truly my purpose in life. My impatience gives way to fear and I am so afraid of failure that my efforts have been half-hearted. I know God blessed me to be a quixotic dreamer to, with His help, surmount the insurmountable. But, I have been needing to "see" what it looks like to pursue hard after my dreams. I think He has brought this new friendship to encourage me toward that.
I see the passion and stick-to-itness he has in the pursuit of his dreams and I am reminded that the road maybe be long and (sometimes) lonely, but perseverance can go a long way.
We joked the other day about a word. He referred to himself as a visionary and in my snarky way, I said "You know being a visionary is not necessarily a good thing. A visionary is someone with impracticable dreams."
visionary - given to or characterized by fanciful, not presently workable, or unpractical ideas, views, or schemesA paraphrase of his response was, Really? Well that's what I meant..
He doesn't even know that I call myself the quixotic dreamer or that I have this blog titled such. Yet, kindred spirits we are.
Oh God, you are so sneaky...
